Interesting reads, and timely reminders —
10 Regrets Too Many People Will Have in 10 Years by Marc Chernof
Not spending enough quality time with the right people. — At some point, you’ll just want to be around the few people who make you smile for all the right reasons. So today, spend more time with those who help you love yourself more—spend more time with those who make you feel good, and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. Never be too busy to make room in your day for the ones who matter most. And remember that nothing you can give will ever be more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention—your full presence. Truly being with someone, and listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the ultimate compliment.
Not expressing your love openly and honestly with those you love. — Without question, you’re going to lose people in your life. Realize that no matter how much time you spend with someone, or how much you appreciate them, sometimes it will never seem like you had enough time together. Don’t learn this lesson the hard way. Express your love! Tell people what you need to tell them. Don’t shy away from important conversations because you feel awkward or uncomfortable. You never know when you might lose your opportunity. Is it really possible to tell someone what you feel? Yes, it is. They won’t always understand, because even when they’ve heard you, they can’t feel exactly what you feel inside. But you still have to speak up for your own peace of mind. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. If you have something else important to say, say it. Hearts are often confused and broken open by words left unspoken.
Being too busy to appreciate your life. — Take action, work hard, but don’t forget to pause and pay attention to life’s little moments too. That’s honestly the best advice there is. Realize that life is simply a collection of little chances for happiness, each lived one moment at a time. That some time each day should be spent noticing the beauty in the space between the big events. That moments of dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, realize that life is about being present, watching and listening and working without a clock and without anticipation of results at every moment, and sometimes, on really good days, for letting these little moments fill your heart with intense gratitude. Truth be told, you will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on your deathbed, come to wish that you had spent less time worrying and rushing through your life, and more time actually being mindful and appreciative of each day.
When something bad happens, we often fall into the trap of three Ps: We see it as personal (this is my fault), pervasive (this is going to ruin every part of my life), and permanent (I’m going to feel this way forever).
We can reject personalization by remembering that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.
We can conquer pervasiveness by keeping a journal—capture three things that went well or three moments of joy each day. Psychologists find that this reminds us that not every part of our lives is affected by setbacks.
We can overcome permanence by thinking of other times when we felt this awful, which helps us realize that this too will pass. “I will never feel pure joy again,” becomes, “right now it seems like I will never feel pure joy again.”